Cute
Stories about Kids…
After putting
her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy
blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more
and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around
her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a
trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
***
A mother was telling her little
girl her own childhood was like" "We used to skate outside on a pond.
I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode
our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in.
At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten
to know you sooner!"
***
My grandson was visiting one day
when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I
mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are
we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
***
A little girl was diligently
pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a
story. "What's it about?" he asked "I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
***
A Sunday school class was
studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The
teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand,
stood tall and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's
wife."
***
Our five-year-old son Mark
couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television,
"20,000 Leagues under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the
giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband
interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarines to sink?" With a book
of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"
***
Little Tommy and his family were having Thanksgiving
dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the
food was being served. When little Tommy received his plate, he started eating
right away.
"Tommy, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.
"I don't need to," the little boy replied.
"Of course you do!" his mother insisted, "We say a prayer before
eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Tommy explained, "but this is Grandma's
house, and she knows how to cook!"
*****
When my
grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until
we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed
us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa.
The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
***
When my
grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma!” he advised. "Mine says I'm four."
***
A second grader
came home from school and said to his mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned
how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting,"
she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied
the girl. "You just change "y" to "i"
and add 'es'."
***
Give me a sentence about a public
servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down
the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took
the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?"
she asked.
"Sure,
said the young boy confidently, "It means carrying a child."
***
A grandmother was surprised by
her 7-year-old grandson one morning.
He had made her coffee. She drank
what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there
were three of those little green army men in the cup.
She said,
"Honey, what are those army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson
said, "Grandma, it says on TV -- "The best part of waking up is
soldiers in your cup!"
***
A nursery
school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a
fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a
Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use
them to keep crowd's back," said one youngster. "No," said
another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child
brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly,
"to find the fire
hydrant.”
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