More Random Thoughts of an Old (Weird)
Geezer
Chapter 6
I’m a Carnivore
I enjoy eating meat. I like the texture – and of course, I like the taste. Beef mainly, but I also enjoy poultry, pork and some kinds of fish. I don’t understand folks who think that it is better to eat only fruits, nuts, veggies and other non-animal foods. Not only are they missing out on some great flavors, their bodies are being deprived on a bunch of necessary nutrients. And no, the addition of supplements to the diet is not a good way to compensate for the stuff that’s missing. If I was supposed to graze, I would have been born a cow. And in turn, I’d have to worry about some carnivore eating me. No thanks. I’ll take my steak medium rare, please.
UFO’s
Yes, it was flying and no, I had no idea what the hell it
was. I was just after dark in
Chicken Shit
No, I’m not referring to a person here. I’m talking about excrement – chicken crap. Growing up on a farm, I’m in a unique position to know that this must be the greatest natural fertilizer in the world. Besides raising a few hundred chickens and benefitting from the eggs and meat that they produced, we also made use of their droppings by spreading it on the garden area – before anything was planted, of course. We would disc it into the ground, plant and water the seed and look forward to some of the best vegetables I’ve ever tasted. Tomatoes, peas, carrots, radishes, lettuce, cabbage, cucumbers, melons… ummm… If you ever have a choice of fertilizers, opt for chicken shit.
Smells I Won’t Forget
On the top of the list is… yep, chicken shit. Add August Nebraska heat to a chicken house full of crap and you’ll get a blast of ammonia that will make your eyes water. Whoa, doggies! If that won’t clear out your sinuses, nothing will. In second place in the stinky smell category is the outhouse (privy, two-holer, etc.) at about the same time of year. Since we didn’t have indoor flush-type plumbing until I was in the eighth grade, we had to use the outhouse. There were a couple times a year where we severely limited the duration of our visit to this structure. Obviously summer when the smell was overpowering – and of course, winter when the seats were frosty and any exposed body part got uncomfortable real quickly. That’s probably where I learned not to dawdle in the bathroom, huh?
Good Smells
Along with some of the yucky stuff, the farm is also the source of my good smell memories. Newly mown alfalfa, burning leaves, lilac blooms, roses, and the smell of freshly cleansed air after a rain. Nice…
One more – way back when before the advent of propane or electric stoves, most of the farmers in our area burned corn cobs in the cook stove. I’ll always remember this smell – especially when it entered the schoolhouse attached to Karen, a neighbor schoolmate. Of course, she was an upper class seventh grader and totally out of my reach, but she got my attention nonetheless. Again, nice…
Totally Useless
Questions
I found that sometimes trying to talk with a teenager (some – not all) is similar to attempting to engage in intelligent conversation with an iguana. It’s not that they’re stupid or purposefully trying to be a smart-ass, it’s just that their poor little teen brain is going through changes and is still working to get all its parts, pieces and connections in the right place. Most of the time this process is completed by the time they are in their mid-twenties. Once in a while it turns into a life-long project.
Due to this developmental mental disruption, here are the four questions I have found that are just not worth asking a teenager:
Why did you …….?
Why didn’t you ……?
What were you thinking?
Have you seen the ……?
They won’t know. And they won’t know why they don’t know. There are probably another three or four dozen similar questions you could ask and they won’t have an answer for those either. My suggestion? Don’t waste your time asking.
The Best Time of My
Life
Now. This very minute. After all, it’s the only time that is real. The past is history – just a bunch of memories. The future hasn’t happened yet. The only real time there is – is now. It’s gotta be the best time!
I’m Losing My Butt
You’ll probably lose yours someday, too. Not too long ago, I could plop down on the floor or sit for a long time in a wooden chair and be quite comfortable. Not now. Now I can feel the hard surface of that floor or chair digging into the old hip bones and it doesn’t take long until I’m ready to find a softer receptacle for my rear end. Ah, the recliner should work well. I’ll try not to doze off…
Don’t Worry
Worrying is a complete waste of time and energy. Here’s a thought I picked up a while back. If you have a problem and there is a potential solution, there’s no need to worry. Just work to implement the solution. If you have a problem and there is no solution, there’s no need to worry because you can’t change anything anyway. Forget it and move on with life. Makes a lot of sense to me.
We’re All Here for a
Reason
Every single one of us. We each have a purpose in life – a reason for spending this particular lifetime on this old planet. Sometimes it’s fairly obvious, sometimes not. Some of us may be here to be good mothers or fathers – or to help a group of people in a certain way. Others of us might be here to be researchers or inventors and to discover or develop things that will benefit a lot of folks. Because of my basic spiritual beliefs, I think there is a possibility that many of us are here just to experience our lives in the environment in which we find ourselves. Adding to our resume so to speak. I figure what the hell, I’m here so I’ll give it my best shot, experience what I think is appropriate, learn what I can and see where that leads me. Probably right back here in another lifetime for remedial training, huh?
Related to That
For a good many years now, I’ve tried to focus on the learning. I’ve frequently referred to this planet and associated existence as The University of Earth. Within that reference, I’ve tried to learn as much as I can about other folks – about why they think and act as they do. More importantly though, I’ve tried to learn about me and have worked to develop the characteristics I think would be important for an average alien to take with him (or her) back to their home base. (OK, don’t freak out on me here. I’m referring to whatever that existence is that we usually call “heaven”.) Hmmmmm? You’re right, I’m comin’ back…
We Live in a Cartoon
There’s no doubt about it. When you consider all the weird, off-the-wall things people do – and sometimes with the very best of intentions – you can’t help but smile and wonder just who the hell is directing this production. Then when you toss in the antics of nature and all the critters we live with you wonder if this may be really an animated “Far Side” cartoon strip. Or perhaps “Matrix” by Disney would be more appropriate? Whatever it is, it’s a real kick in the butt (in a good way) as far as I’m concerned. I know, I’m warped…
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