You
Live In…
YOU LIVE IN
1. You're
willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can
open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've
experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You'd
give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can
attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6.
"Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads.
7. You can
drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have
over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9.
The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and WHAAT?
10. You know
'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open the oven
door.
YOU LIVE IN
1. You make
over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high-school quarterback calls a
time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is
going down your driveway.
4 You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive
your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When
someone asks you how far something is you tell them how long it takes to get
there rather than how many miles it is.
YOU LIVE IN
1. You say
"the city" and expect everyone to know you mean
2. You've
never been to the Statue of Liberty or the
3. You can
get into a four hour argument on how to get from
4. You think
5. You
believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you
multi-lingual.
6. You think
eye contact is an act of aggression.
7. You've worn out a car horn.
YOU LIVE IN
1. You only
have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and
2. Halloween
costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have
more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy
lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight
buttons.
5. The four
seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
YOU LIVE IN THE DEEP SOUTH WHEN…
1. You can
rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."Y’all"
is singular and "all y’all" is plural.
4. "He
needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone
has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
YOU LIVE IN
1. You carry
your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell
your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care
center.
3. A pass
does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top
of your head is bald but you still have a pony tail.
YOU LIVE IN THE
1. You've
never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea
of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3 You've had
to switch from heat to A/C on the same day.
4. You end
sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When
asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
different!"
YOU LIVE IN
1. You eat
dinner at
2. All
purchases include a coupon of some kind, even houses and cars.
3. Everyone
can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road
construction never ends, anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in
front of you are often driven by headless people.
Author/Originator Unknown
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