Help Desk Humor

 

 

 

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

 

 

Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. 
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? 
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. 
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note." 
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... 

 

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. 
Customer: Your left or my left? 

 

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? 
Male customer: Hello... I can't print. 
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and .. 
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! 

 

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.  Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... 

 

Customer: I have problems printing in red... 
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer? 
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. 

 

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? 
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. 

 

Helpdesk: And now hit F8. 
Customer: It's not working. 
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? 
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... 

 

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. 
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? 
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. 
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 
Customer: OK 
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? 
Customer: Yes 
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.  Is there another keyboard? 
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! 

 

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. 
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? 

 

A customer couldn't get on the internet. 
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? 
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? 
Customer: Five stars. 

 

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? 
Customer: Netscape. 
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. 
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. 

 

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! 

 

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? 
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? 
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? 
Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? 

 

Helpdesk: How may I help you? 
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. 
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? 
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

 

 

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