Frank Feldman

 

 

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.  He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.  You're just like Frank."
                 
Passenger: "Who?"
                                    
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
                                    
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
                                    
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.  He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.  He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.  He was an amazing guy."
                                    
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special.

 

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer.  Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.  He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out.  But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

 

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
                 
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.  He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was the perfect man!  He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

 

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"       
        
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his f**king widow."

 

 

 

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